American-style (Republican) Christianity
They hate us for our freedom
“As it was in the days of Noah, so shall it be in the days of the Son of Man.”—Luke 17
We covered crazy old coot, Harold Camping last year around this time when Camping and his dim-witted followers/employees announced that the Rapture was coming on May 21, 2011. Of course, Mr. Camping has made incorrect predictions in the past about the end of the world, but this hasn’t stopped him from trying again (hey, a stopped clock is right twice a day, isn’t it?). This time Camping is SO SURE that he got the math right, that he and his followers/employees have announced an aggressive advertising campaign with tee-shirts, tracts, postcards, stickers, outdoor advertising and even e-Bibles that the younger set can use on their iThingees.
Family Radio Inc., Camping’s company has also set up WeCanKnow.com, where you can learn all about the various ways the great man figured out when the Rapture would take place. How convenient that this is all happening when Camping himself is only 88-years-young. If his batshit crazy wish fulfillment nonsense turns out to be correct, HE’LL NEVER HAVE TO DIE. (And what’s more, when the Rapture comes, he’ll be young again! All the people in Heaven are in their prime. We know this because a kid who had an NDE told Gretchen Carlson all about it on Fox News!).
It’s all just a matter of simple math! From The Tennessean:
According to Camping’s prediction, the Rapture will happen exactly 7,000 years from the date that God first warned people about the flood. He said the flood happened in 4990 B.C., on what would have been May 21 in the modern calendar. God gave Noah one week of warning.
Since one day equals 1,000 years for God, that means there was a 7,000-year interval between the flood and rapture.
Billboards like the one above are about to start appearing in Louisville, St. Louis, Detroit, Little Rock, Omaha, Kansas City, Fort Wayne, Ind., and Bridgeport, Conn. There are already 40 such signs in the Nashville area alone. Family Radio Inc., will also be sending RVs around the country with witnesses for Camping’s Rapture date prediction.
I look at it this way: I’d love it if Camping were correct and all the Christians (including Sarah Palin, the Teabaggers, Bryan Fischer, etc) get whisked up to Heaven en masse with Baby Jesus and assigned their fucking harps. We’d all wake up in a much saner world on May 22, 2011, if you ask me. Good riddance.
Previously on Dangerous Minds:
2012 is for Suckers, part 2: Old Coot says Rapture nigh