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This photographer went to a Biblical theme park in Florida, so you don’t have to

Going through the metal detectors… just like Jesus used to to do
Photographer Daniel Cronin traveled far from his secular home of Portland, Oregon to the ancient and sacred land of Orlando, Florida to visit The Holy Land Experience, a Biblical theme park owned and operated by the Trinity Broadcasting Network (the station now run by that half-assed, pink haired Tammy Faye knock-off, Jan Crouch). It’s is about as chintzy as you’d expect—lots of suspiciously Nordic-looking Jesi, a disorienting sense of anachronism with costumed employees running the snack stands and metal detectors, the gory crucifixion reenactment, a slightly Rococo color palette—the works, really.

As with all televangelist ventures, The Holy Land Experience (which is legally a non-profit) has been mired in controversy. Founded by Marvin Rosenthal (who was born Jewish before his conversion, if you hadn’t guessed), the park attracted the ire of the Jewish Defense League who protested its opening believing it to be a ploy to convert Jews to Christianity. Of course it wouldn’t be Christian edutainment without some alleged misappropriation of funds—the HLE manages to avoid paying property taxes (amounting to $300,000 a year) by reclassifying itself as a “museum,” as opposed to, you know, a theme park. Also, HLE Director and CEO Jan Crouch has been accused (by her own granddaughter, no less) of ripping off both the Trinity Broadcasting Network and the park. For two years during The Holy Land Experience’s construction, her two pampered pooches (both Maltese, a toy breed) got their own luxury hotel room adjoining her own.

You know… just like Jesus’s pups!



More after the jump…

Posted by Amber Frost | Leave a comment
Dingbat hand-feeds alligator breakfast cereal
08:27 am



A Florida—go figure—woman living in a senior community caught her neighbor hand-feeding an alligator. “She would bring food back and forth and feed him and he would hang out there all day with her,” Lynette Miller said.

Miller captured video of the woman in Port St. Lucie last year and says she saw her multiple times feeding the gator. “She nicknamed the gator Puppy Puppy. She would yell at him and he would come,” Miller said.

Other neighbours also saw the gator. “I would hear ‘puppy, puppy, puppy.’ I thought the woman was calling for her husband. But she said ‘no, I am calling for the alligator,’ ” Grace LaPlace said. Neighbours say they saw the woman feeding the gator all different kinds of food including cereal.

If this lady was a character on The Walking Dead I’m pretty sure the other humans would just shoot her.

Via Arbroath

Posted by Tara McGinley | Leave a comment
Irate woman calls 911 over raw waffles
09:26 am


Raw waffles

“They gave me some raw waffles,” starts the woman’s story, “and I told him that I don’t want the waffles.”

Do I really need to say where this wacky-ass 911 phone call over raw waffles happened? Do I really?

Tampa. Florida.

Via Arbroath

Posted by Tara McGinley | Leave a comment
Stevie Wonder boycotts Florida: Could the Sunshine State become the new Sun City?

Stevie Wonder and Nelson Mandela
Stevie Wonder and Nelson Mandela

During his concert Sunday in Quebec City, Stevie Wonder declared he would not be playing Florida again until the abolition of “Stand Your Ground,” the law that allowed George Zimmerman to go free after murdering Trayvon Martin. His impassioned speech to the crowd:

The truth is that—for those of you who’ve lost in the battle for justice, wherever that fits in any part of the world—we can’t bring them back. What we can do is we can let our voices be heard. And we can vote in our various countries throughout the world for change and equality for everybody. That’s what I know we can do.

And I know I’m not everybody, I’m just one person. I’m a human being. And for the gift that God has given me, and from whatever I mean, I decided today that until the “Stand Your Ground” law is abolished in Florida, I will never perform there again. As a matter of fact, wherever I find that law exists, I will not perform in that state or in that part of the world.

Because what I do know is that people know that my heart is of love for everyone. When I say everyone I mean everyone. As I said earlier, you can’t just talk about it, you have to be about it. We can make change by coming together for the spirit of unity. Not in destruction, but in the perpetuation of life itself.

Wonder is no stranger to artistic boycotts. He was a part of a wave of musicians who refused to play South Africa’s Sun City resort to protest apartheid, even penning a song, “It’s Wrong (Apartheid)” to raise awareness. It’s possible Wonder’s declaration could spark a trend of boycotts to shame Florida into overturning its draconian laws.

Of course, boycotts today don’t really have the same cultural context they once did for Apartheid. Last November, Wonder himself played a concert for Israeli Defense Forces, in spite of emphatic demands from activists for artists to boycott Israel in protest of the Palestinian occupation. Overwhelming international public sentiment opposed Apartheid, which was easily identified as cut and dry racial segregation, but for the west, the topic of Israel is mired in Islamophobia, and is much more difficult to organize around. Likewise, we have a lot of paranoid, reactionary gun nuts in this country, and artists might argue that playing Florida isn’t an endorsement of a single law. Regardless, I do think famous spokespeople (for better or worse) help steer the national dialogue, and we need to do everything we can to keep focus on the abolition of the “Stand Your Ground” law.

Via Vulture

Posted by Amber Frost | Leave a comment
It’s a dark day in the Sunshine State
12:36 am

Current Events


Thanks to Andru Reeve.

Posted by Marc Campbell | Leave a comment
Man calls 911 80 times for weed and Kool-Aid
01:10 pm



File this one under: What the fuckity-fuck?

According to St. Petersburg police, 34-year-old Jarvis Sutton of St. Petersburg, Florida, called 911 approximately 80 times on Sunday for some Kool-Aid, weed and burgers to be delivered to him.

Sutton admitted to making the calls. When the cops arrested him, he actually started to gnaw on “the foam attached to the metal caging in the back of a police cruiser.”

I guess he was really hungry?

Sutton faces charges of misusing the 911 system.

Via WLWT and Brian Braun!

Posted by Tara McGinley | Leave a comment
Is Florida’s Rick Scott the single most evil politician in America?

Rick Scott, the vile, freaky clown who is the governor of Florida has announced that his state will not take that DIRTY Medicaid money as mandated by the ACA to subsidize the purchase of health care by THE POORS.

As The Daily Beast’‘s Michael Tomasky reports, Scott’s announcement means that at least several hundred thousand—if not many more—of Florida’s poorest families and individuals (those who are up to 133% above the poverty line) will not receive subsidies to purchase health insurance which would be 93% covered by the Feds anyway:

Funny. I seem to remember a time when Scott was quite eager to take Medi-CARE money! That wasn’t his. You remember what I’m talking about.

So this is what social programs mean to Scott. As a private-sector businessman, something to steal from. As a public “servant,” something to play political games with. Floridians will die so that he can be first in the wingnut line.

I don’t know the precise number, but in a state that size, surely a couple million people/families who’ll be eligible for care under the new law in 2014—families of four earning up to $88,000 are eligible for the subsidies—will be denied the chance to buy coverage at subsidized rates because Scott has refused this money. From a policy perspective, this is the next battleground, the pressure point of resistance for the hard-shell ideologues. How many states will really sacrifice billions in federal dollars for the sake of ideology, and how many will do it before the election so they get a gold star from Rove?

Those interested in what we used to call facts may want to read through this nice primer from the Center on Budget and Policy Priorities, which describes the Medicaid transfer from the feds to the states and explains how the federal government will actually be picking up 93 percent of the costs over the next nine years.

If you lived in Florida and you were having a hard time coping like a lot of people are these days—let’s say that maybe you have a handicapped child and have lost your job for the sake of this thought experiment—and you watched last week’s SCOTUS announcement and cried tears of joy that your kid would finally be able to get medical care without making the rest of your family homeless, and now you get THIS NEWS that a mutant shitstain on humanity like Rick Scott is going to deny your kid healthcare because he wants brownie points with the fucking Tea party, what would you think about doing to Rick Scott?

Ponder that for ten seconds. Don’t even give yourself the luxury of a full minute. What comes to mind that you would want to do to Rick Scott?

And if you, dear reader, are thinking what I am a thinking… have a look at the trailer for the powerful (and very underrated I feel) 2002 film, John Q.

Will life imitate art? In the case of Rick Scott, let’s hope it fucking does!

Posted by Richard Metzger | Leave a comment
More pioneering synthpunk from Futurisk

More early 80s synthpunk madness, this time from South Florida’s Futurisk. These guys are pretty obscure and information on them is limited, but according to their website they formed in 1979 when teenager Jeremy Kolosine won some time in a recording studio, and their music was usually:

recorded by Richard Hess and the band in the rooms of Ron K’s house. The drum sound, gotten in a bathroom, rocks, even today. Reportedly, Futurisk may have been the 1st synth-punk band in the American South…or something, and 1981’s track ‘Push Me Pull You (pt. 2)’ was an early pre-‘Rockit’ excursion into electro-funk.

The revival of interest in the band was sparked when James Murphy included one of their tracks on a DFA mix for the French boutique Colette in 2003. Last year the Minimal Wave label released a retrospective of the band’s work called Player Piano, and earlier this year the band put out a remix 12” of the track “Lonely Streets”, one of whose remixes came from the mighty Chris Carter. Here’s a couple of videos of Futurisk in action:

Futurisk - “Meteoright”

After the jump the original video for the classic “Army Now”, and more Futurisk…
If you like what you hear, and you want to pick up Player Piano, you can get it here.

Posted by Niall O'Conghaile | Leave a comment
Meet The New Future Of The GOP…For Today!

Meet Sean Hannity‘s new BFF, retired Lieutenant Colonel Allen West.  He’s running for Congress in Florida next year, but, thanks to this speech, there’s already some growing Fox-centric hype buzz about West running for President in 2012.  I find it amazing—and galling—that, along with Sarah Palin, West is demanding “We Take Back America!”  Back from what, exactly?  The still-developing 300+ days of Obama, or the previous 8 bloody, costly years of Bush rule?!

Posted by Bradley Novicoff | Leave a comment