How much would you pay for a pair of shoes covered in feces? $50,000? $100,000? Money is no object for a thing of such value, but you don’t need to break the bank to snag a pair of these… er…. shitty kickers! Betabrand has almost met their crowdfunding goal for a run of cute sneakers adorned in a “discreet” poo emoji print (only $70.40 for a pledge, a discounted rate for fine footwear covered in cute crap, right?). Sure, sure, but you’re walking around in permanent poo-shoes already. Isn’t pattern kind of… pretty? A tessellation of turds!
Fecal fractals, if you will.
Also, apparently these shoes are made from some kind of space-age material… if you’re into that sort of thing. I would remind you that NASA is responsible for the success of Tang, and to quote Buzz Aldrin, “Tang sucks.” Toilet humor and cute footwear however, is timelessly great, according to anyone who matters. If you still gotta, here are the specs, the video below lays out the case for a decidedly unshitty pair of crap-covered shoes.